Why Every Leader Needs Ted Lasso

I was late to the game when it came to Ted Lasso. It was out for a couple of years before I started watching it. I was like “ I am more of a Breaking Bad girl not a sports show girl”...until I gave in and watched it. 

It is quite possibly the best show ever made. It is entertaining yes…but more importantly, the messages are actually life giving and life changing.

I am currently watching the series for the third time right now and I might immediately watch it again right away…

Here are the top 4 things I have taken away from Ted Lasso as a leader of a small business:

1.Be a goldfish.

This needs little or no explanation. It is easy to hold on to things too long that have hurt us. Our past can be a school for us instead of a prison. We get to choose whether we let the shit go or hold on to it. Holding on to the past and reliving it can be like drinking poison for our soul - it only hurts us in the end. People are going to wrong you, you will make mistakes, things are going to go wrong…but what if we could simply acknowledge it and move on instead of carrying it with us? That old stuff gets heavy and no one asked us to carry it anyways. Be a goldfish :)

(Context: Ted tells one of his footballers to “be a goldfish” because the goldfish is the happiest creature because a goldfish only has a 10 second memory)

2. No matter how good you are to people, some will still turn on you.

When Nate turned on Ted I felt so seen as a leader. I tried to think about what Ted did wrong to cause Nate to act like that…

I asked my husband, “What did Ted do?! Could he have done something different to make Nate feel better about himself?! I feel like Ted was always good to Nate!?”. My husband said, “he didn’t do anything to cause it, Melanie”. The tears were streaming when I saw that episode because I realized in that moment that no matter how hard I try, there are going to be people who do not think it is enough and that has nothing to do with me. As a leader, my obligation to excellence is to do the best I can with what I know and have at any given time.

At the point in my life that I saw that episode I was going through a difficult season as a salon owner. It gave me so much peace…I felt as though it was a true representation of what it feels like to work with humans. For the first time in a while I felt not alone in what I was experiencing.

Furthermore, it was inspiring to see Ted navigate this. He was clearly hurt by Nate but it was also clear that Ted recognized that it had nothing to do with him and he did not carry it with him. He seemed to be a goldfish about it.

3. Forgiveness is a choice and any of us can choose it.

Forgiveness was knit throughout the entire show in nearly every episode. Some characters forgave more quickly than others while others were more stubborn and took several episodes to come around to forgiveness.

I am not a grudge holder and I forgive easily but I haven’t always done it with as much grace as Ted. My favorite scene about forgiveness was at the end of Season One when Rebeecca came clean to Ted about how she had been trying to use Ted to sabotage Richmond (the soccer team) for the entire first season he was in England. It was clear that he didn’t love this truth, he paused and you could see that he saw it hurt her more than he was offended. He knew she only did it because she was hurting and wanted to hurt her ex-husband (Rupert).

Another scene about forgiveness that is powerful is when Roy Kent (team captain/coach) told Trent Crimm (a reporter/journalist)  that he was crushed by something Trent had written about him years ago. Finally Roy was alleviated when he told Trent how he was affected. Roy had literally been carrying a snippet of the article that Trent had written for 20 years. It was weighing Roy down and the moment of the forgiveness gave him a new perspective and he finally tore up the snippet and was able to move on for the first time in years.

4. Real life is happening for leaders even when you can’t see it.

Ted, Rebecca, Roy and many other characters in Ted Lasso were consistently going through some very heavy things while simultaneously trying to lead a team. They made mistakes, hurt people, hurt themselves all while bumbling along trying to keep it together for the public eye. None of them were ‘bad” people but at times they made bad decisions. Even Ted, who is honest and transparent, hid his panic attacks from the public until Nate leaked the truth to Trent Crimm. Rebecca was dealing with cruel opinions and headlines about her ex-husband and his new younger flames.

It is important to remember that leaders are human (you are a human!) and are often dealing with something really difficult while being under pressure to be perfect and present despite what life is throwing at you.

It is normal for leaders to be under the microscope. This won’t change. Remind yourself that you are a finite human and you can’t be perfect always and no leader will be perfect always. Real life is happening whether you like it or not.

If you have watched Ted Lasso, I hope you loved it and watch it again. If you haven’t watched it yet, I am so jealous.

I highly recommend watching Ted Lasso for anyone that is leading people. I know it will inspire you to want to be better :) 

You are doing an awesome job!

Love Melanie xxoo